Let's train our kids for Jannatul Firdous!

 

Assalamualaikkum to all of you.. . today InshaAllah I am going to share some insight into how we, as Muslims, should hold an attitude of clean thinking about our Creator and expect the best from The Lord of all the worlds as regards raising up our children on the straight path (Siraatul Mustaqeem) with the right guidance (Huda) and ultimately to the eternal bliss...Jannatul Firdous - Delightful Paradise!

All of us, at some point in our lives, do get curious or rather doubtful due to all that may be going on in our lives, that we tend to build up frustrations in our beliefs leading to despair, which in turn, can shake our faith in Allah and His Decisions. We may start to question every situations in our life, as to why it had to happen to ME or even have to take place at all. We pray to Him, invoking Him through His various beautiful names(AsmaaUlHusna) and supplicating to Him whole-heartedtedly asking Him to give us this and that, and all that is good, according to us. We show haste and when our prayers seemingly go unanswered instantly(cos Allah knows best when to answer it and whether it should be answered or not, for wanting the best for us, as may be in what we ask there may be harm for us, so He will avert it from us by not responding), we become impatient and hopeless, and we start to lose our enthusiasm to do any extra acts of worship, as though Allah stands in need for our righteous acts, so now that He hasn't responded to us at our expected time, we will take our revenge by stop showing any more interest!!! It's none other than ourselves who loses out from all the benefits of this test of patience (Sabr) and faith (Imaan). 

Our Lord has created this Universe and all that's in it for a purpose....that we creations obey Him and worship Him the way He has guided us to. Once we show that willingness to patiently submit to His Will, even when we may not initially understand the wisdom behind many things in our life, but with perseverence and sincere submission to His Will, gradually we start to see the logic behind all the situations. He unveils to us all the rationale underlying all aspects of one's life. So, it's all about willingly submitting to our Lord, ie Islam and trusting Him in all of life's affairs, which is Tawakkul. 

Having said that, I want to shed some light on the matter of raising children with the right mindset, effort and above all keeping a healthy and positive attitude and expectation from our Lord. In the Qur'an, He has commanded us to marry righteous partners and taught us through His Prophet Mohammed (SallallahuAlaihiWasallam-S.A.W) to pray and plan for children with the intention to raise them up with the best virtues, ie Tarbiyat, as per His guidelines sent to His Messenger Mohammed (SAW). We shouldn't be just conceiving, giving birth, feeding, etc that even animals do, but all along we have a higher responsibility to be the best example for them to follow and at the same time teaching them the best morals, character (Akhlaq), habits and all that a good human should be doing, taking extra care to give thanks to Allah, for each and every of part of our being. It is indeed a very difficult task to do. Because we will have to make many sacrifices of our self's desires and devote a major portion of our time and energy to constantly advice and correct them at every step until they are on their own feet, which we would have loved to spend in the way we enjoy and desire, besides doing all chores for them and serving them. Those who don't do Tarbiyat for their kids, have actually chosen voluntarily to save themselves from the additional hardship of grooming them into righteous characters, each kid requiring individual toning. So that explains why many parents opt for lesser children or else just produce many either aimlessly or setting materialistic goals. 

The good news for those parents, striving for kids' spiritual development in all phases of their growth, about their dedication going to be generously rewarded, have been emphatically conveyed to us in several places in the Qur'an. We must be optimistic that our struggles and striving won't go into a forgotten episode of history. Our Most Merciful Lord has promised the best for us, if we will strive to our utmost with piety. He is Ash-Shakoor, meaning The AlMighty One Who Appreciates. Even if any shortcomings happen on our part due to human flaws, the bottom-line is to have righteous intention with humility and work with determination. No one is perfect and neither does our Creator expect that from us. He repeatedly reminds us to return to Him in repentence (Tawba), never to be hopeless, even after we do terrible sins, in ignorance and then rectify ourselves with firm resolution not to recommit those evils, then He is The Most Merciful, The Most Forgiving One.

One might wonder about what's the guarantee of dedicating our life for childrens' righteous (Saalih) upbringing and then having to witness later such deeds or words that may be painfully against all what we had committed our whole lives to!!! That indeed is the worst nightmare that could happen to such parents who had chosen to sacrifice their beautiful moments of life in trying to bring about the best personalities. That's where we are reassured in the Qur'an that each of us are given only that much of task that we can bear, not beyond that. In the Qur'an: 

"لا يكلف الله نفسا الا وسعها"           Al Baqara:282 - Allah doesn't burden a soul beyond it's capacity

Zumar:7 -  No bearer of burden bears the burden of another   "ولا تزر وازرة وزره اخرا"

That's why when Allah bestowed us with kids, He knew we had the capacity to bear all that comes along with having kids. Our duty is to first thank Him for being blessed with children, then we have to raise them up fairly with all the good values in every step of their growth until youth. All the while, we need to constantly do Dua - supplicate to our Lord to help us and them throughout, to ease it up, to forgive us and have mercy on us and above all appealing to Him to accept these efforts for His Sake. We have to be careful never to credit ourselves for any of our efforts, it's all Allah's favour (Ihsan) to us down to the very intention to work for pious children, even the sheer ability and opportunity (Tawfeeq) to make such an intention; He is The Only One Who planted the seed of intention for us in the first place and at the same time, rendered it all possible. 

He is running the affairs of each and every living creatures and this whole universe with ease under a definite plan that is His Alone. He alone knows what's in store for each of us. But, it may so happen that after all the struggles for the cause of our children, we end up being heart-broken with a rebellious son/daughter, who goes against some or all of the islamic values we had taught them. It's our test from Allah in such cases, and we can't blame ourselves for that. As He knows better who will abide by the Tarbiyat that was imparted to them and who will reject it, once he/she is on their own. Therefore, our task ends there. We are no more responsible for their actions, as we had done our homework and therefore, we will not be answerable before our Lord. That's the most important thing. Each of us are accountable for ourselves. Yes, we are accountable for those under us too, but only up until the time of their adulthood. So long as we have done our part, we are free from those who choose to stray from the Truth, no matter how painful it may be to have such an experience from our kids. Imagine if we hadn't made any efforts for their Tarbiyat  and then they follow the wrong way, the blame is upon us mainly, as we'd left them to chance, to a dangerous trial and error method of discovering the straight path.

Yet, different possibilities occur in this life as a test or as a consequence of our own actions or carelessness:

1. parents guide = child maintains the Tarbiyat  imparted to him for life = both successful!!
2. parents guide = child reaches adulthood and chooses to stray from those values taught to him = parents did their duty commanded to them + the person who rejected his Tarbiyat loses both the worlds unless he repents and rectifies !...!
3. parents didn't guide = child gets guided through other factors like a righteous friend, relative, or society = parents fail, blameworthy + child may guide his parents later on in life, saving their parents from being booked for penalty = both successful !...!
4. parents didn't guide = child follows into all kinds of evils, turning materialistic = both fails, again leaving the original blame on the parents and himself rejecting guidance from any source in life voluntarily thereby himself being responsible for the wrong choice = both eligible for penalty unless repents and rectifies?!!

Which category would any of us like to be in? What would be our choice if we are given the chance to save ourselves from the Hellfire, Jahannum? Definitely the first one, right? So, let's all do that from now on...make the smart choice and wise move to be one of the most fortunate winners of the everlasting Bliss of Paradise - Jannatul Firdous!!!

The simile is that of 2 men:
One of them plants seeds, nurtures it till it grows into tree bearing fruits = he gets the fruits of his labour, most of them edible and marketable, increasing his savings, with only an insignificant amount rotting or bad. Over these years, sometimes he would have plenty of rain, but some other time there would be destructive storms to waste away his efforts. Despite the loss, he will not give up instantly and uproot the tree, instead he will continue hopefully and with the same positive spirit. In any case, he benefits.
The other having a piece of land, leaves it as it is without bothering to plant anything on it. In times of need, he gets nothing out of it,  regrets and suffers.
The former is comparable with the parents who wants righteous children and so works towards that cause with dedication and hard work. He gets good offspring as a result, with a remote chance of them turning bad. Even if the kids later on took to bad ways, the parents are still successful in Allah's Sight for having fulfilled their mission, so it's a win-win situation for them. As for the latter, he is like those parents who don't invest extra time, energy or resources to give special attention to character and deen building traits. And if they became rebellious ones, then they are in for a big trouble from these 'fruits' of their's!! They lose out all the goodness that could have been reaped, had they considered their kids' Tarbiyat as vital.....'As you sow, so shall you reap'!!! 

Final Note:

1. Pray for righteous (Saalih) kids constantly.
2. Make your efforts to train your children sincerely and humbly for His Sake Alone.
3. Put full trust in Allah and do your best.
4. He doesn't hold us accountable for those children who in their adulthood chose to stray away.
5. Everything is happening according to His Divine Plan and Wisdom, so no 'why's and how's'.
6. He Knows Well who will take true guidance(Hidaaya) and who will not.
7. An attractive reward (Sawaab) is in store for those who strived for pious kids.
8. As for those who left them to chance and at the mercy of this cold and harsh world, to either not get guided at all or picking guidance the hard way....their case is pathetic and will be under serious scrutiny.
9. Don't panic after reading all this and hesitate...just take it cool and normal....make the intention (Niyyah) and carry on honestly...Allah will take it from there and help you all the way upto placing all of you family of righteous ones into Jannatul Firdous.
10. Good luck to all of you.

May Allah reward you all for your patience with my extra long post....forgive me, Inshallah next time I'll try my best not to go this far....Jazaakkallah Khair

If this has in any way been of any benefit to any of you good readers, pls pray for me and my family and ask Allah to accept this effort in His Way, Fee Sabeelillah.....Aameen!

P.S: the green words are some key Arabic terms used frequently and symbolically among the Muslims. Pls check the 'TERMINOLOGY' link.